Top 5 Ugliest mp3 Players
June 05, 2008 at 09:17:00 PM, by David Fried
We can keep this up as long as you can - so we're reporting our ideas of the top five UGLIEST mp3 players!
It's that time again, and today I bring you the most revolting, vomit inducing MP3 players we could find. You will either have to be heavily intoxicated, blind, or BOTH for any of these music devices to be even slightly appealing. This gruesome cast sports some players who have already infiltrated American shores and a few wacky Japanese players yet to come stateside, so lets hope it stays that way. On a side note, I surely wish anyone who actually purchases these eyesores has better taste in music.
Ecolong DAP
The Ecolong DAP promises a truly astounding 85 hours of music playback on a single AAA battery, which is no small feat, however its camo-colorings surely leaves something to be desired. The company even goes so far as to claim that with normal human use-6 batteries can get you through a year, and if you were wonderingthat's a whopping 365.25 days. The camoflauge coloring may cause this gadget to be a hunter's second best friend after his hunting dog, of course. But this device is not a friend any person of the vast populace would like to have (unless they want to stand next to it, to look prettier by comparison). However, the device is reasonably priced at around $50 USD with 1GB of memory and a built-in FM radio. It's unquestionably not attractive to say the least, but at least it will get the job done. Army surplus attire probably a requisite on this one...
Sharp MP-B300
This visually appealing beauty' by Sharp (note the sarcasm) goes by the equally attractive name of MP-B300. Imagine if you brought home a girl named MP-B300, it might get some odd stares but so would bringing home a girl named iPod, so I guess you cant really judge the physical appearance of an MP3 player by its name. Even if you don't bring it home to Mother, this player will undoubtedly get some stares, but those unfortunate enough to come in visual contact with this repulsive gadget will soon turn their glances downward towards the toilet bowl as they upchuck their early morning Egg McMuffin. It's not a looker to be sure, but at least it comes in at a thin 8.9-millimeters and sports a decent 1GB of storage with the possibility of adding more via miniSD. The FM-transmitter is pretty neat, as it allows you to pump tunes over your car stereo sans any additional attachments. Furthermore it boasts the ability to record directly from the FM tuner. The button layout is gaudy and intrusive - earning no stars or points.
Victor Alneo DAP
Meet the Victor Alneo DAP from Japan...the player is available in two capacities 1GB and 2GB, selling for $125 and $160, respectively. Both models possess a three-line OLED screen and are sadly on a unit that looks like a cell phone that hit every branch on its fall from the ugly tree. It also features direct MP3 encoding, so the external microphone may come in handy. A blindfold may also come in handy when within a ten-foot range of this monstrosity. The player's button layout is tacky and pretty much unusable due to closeness of each button.
iRiver E10
Not one to get by on looks alone, the iRiver E10's more redeeming qualities include a promising 6GB, radio capabilities and built-in microphone, which may look good on paper. But on the eyes the player is nothing but painful. The device has a minute screen and reports from owners have revealed that the player initialization does not work, so not only is the player unattractive, but it is also poorly made. The player is pretty non-descript, but its blandness is reminiscent of a more popular player that you may have heard of (the iPod), however it is essence the iPod's ugly step-cousin.
Yamaha Bodibeat
The Bodibeat by Yamaha is likely what you would see next to the word ugly if you were to look it up in the dictionary. However, purely based on functionality the unit is exciting as it matches songs to the pace of your workout. The Bodibeat also tracks distance, time, pace and heart rate (via an clip on heart-rate monitor which you place on your ear). But, back to the superficial aspects, the player looks more like a brick than anything else with oddly shaped white buttons for contrast and its an expensive brick at that, as the unit is priced around $300 USD. The player boasts an insignificant amount of memory in the form of 512MB of flash memory; so don't plan on to much of a music selection.
Well, what do you think? Do you think you can beat our selection of muy-feo music players? Add a comment and a link, lets see who can gross out who faster...ready?
Pfff, you're not ready.
Ok - now you are - COMMENT AWAY!
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Comments
goatfacekillah at 14:22, October 07, 2008
hahaha..best post evah..
jberg at 14:32, October 15, 2008
hahaha.. you're so ugly goatfacekillah